Hello and welcome to my new blog. My name is Ashley Hairston, I’m 32yrs old and I’m relearning my true myself. I’m learning to healing my inner child. Growing as I’ve had a spiritual awakening, and learn to love myself again. So, where do I start that got me to this point?
Well, for so long, I wasn’t living my in my truth. Let me explain….What I mean is, I was scared to accept the person under the mask. For so long, I thought I knew who I was. But, I’m realizing, I really don’t. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and didn’t know the person looking back at you. Yup, that’s where I am.
The real start to me living in my truth, was December 2018. I quit my job and wanted to start my own business as a Health Coach( Full Time). The dream was there and the passion was there, but I wasn’t fully there. I felt, I wasn’t being true. How am I going to help heal others, when I haven’t healed myself. So, I had to look within, which was super hard, well still is hard. First, I had to be honest with myself and take the mask off. It was hard taking the mask off. This mask was my protection for so long. This mask represented victimhood, being a people pleaser, living to make everyone happy, trying to not be a disappointment to my family, not truly having self-love, having rose-colored glasses on to people, friend, boyfriends, lovers and family that didn’t have the best interest in me. And I thought this mask was real and true. I thought this was want love was, because that’s all I know. It was the best that I know at the time. Until, I didn’t want to live the same chapter over and over again.
Once I realized, what was missing in my life, was me, I felt my soul awaken. Then come the stubbornness of my ego. My ego didn’t wanting to let go of the old. At times, still doesn’t want to let go of the old. But, I know I had to take a leap of faith and know that I would be ok. A lot of things come to the surface, once the mask was off. Remembering what closed me off from having self love and not really caring about myself. What came up was my childhood, remembering how my childhood was. How being emotional abused and molested in my life, shut me off from myself. This started the mask that I had on for so many years. It started me down the path and chapters I’ve lived for 32 years.
Now, I want to stop living in this old story and heal my inner child. I put this out publicly, one because I wanted to share my story. Which a part of me is so scared to, but I know I need to. Also, I hope to heal others to heal their inner child. So during this blog, I’ll go more into my story of emotional abuse and how it formed who I was for 32 years. Then go through the stages of how I’m healing and growing. To my new readers, thank you for one, having an open mind, two letting me express my voice, and lastly taking this journey with me. From the love in my heart thank you and welcome again.