Hello and welcome back to my blog. Today, I wanted to talk about letting go of emotional abusive parent.
For me, my emotional abuser is my mother. And as many people, may not think it has an effect. It has a big effect on you. Growing up, I had to walk on egg-shells. My feelings were not important. I wasn’t sure what to believe with my mother, because on one hand she would say this and then take away something else in the same breath. Or would promise something and then take it away. It was super confusing. I always had to read between the lines. There were a lot of days of aggressive/ controlling manners. Then would say “I love you” in the same breath. Then there were moments of good days and laughter. But, I always had to keep the peace. If i didn’t, it was a battle, a tear down of who I was. Always threatening, always trying to stay in control. She would beat down on who I was or trying to grow to be, I never felt like I was good enough. I never felt safe or secure. Never felt that I was able to speak up for myself. My emotions had to be pushed down. I always had to be happy, even when I wasn’t.
With healing my inner child, I’m finally letting her have her voice back. I’m letting the emotions come in and nurturing her the way she needed to be. With letting go of emotional abusive parent, you have to see that, one it’s not okay to stay stuck in it. Two, their happiness is not more important than your own. Three, it’s not okay to be belittled. And the list can go on and on. I had to learn this. I had to see that the way I grow up, was not normal. The way I was treated wasn’t normal. The way I was made to feel growing up was not healthy. I also had to see that the relationships that I got myself into were a reflection of what I had grow up in. Letting go was hard, because it’s all you know. It’s the comfort zone and the un-comfort zone at the same time. I’m currently working on letting go of my relationship with my mother. With healing my inner child, she needs time away from the emotional abuse that sometimes still happens.
Now, I’m not saying it will be forever, but with healing my wounded inner child, being around my mother, just brings me back to the same feelings, the same mindset. Letting go of this relationship for awhile is a good thing. You never know how deep your wounds are until you start giving them time to heal. I love my mother. But I also now that my happiness is more important to me. My healing is more important. Having my power back is more important. With letting go of this relationship, I’m able to really learn what a healthy relationship looks like. First starting with myself. Then starting with others. Building myself back up and of course asking for support from the people that really care about me.
Letting go of an emotional abusive parent is letting go of the comfort zone/ un-comfort zone, by setting healthy boundaries. Even if they don’t like it. I know my mother is not going to like it, but I also know that, I can’t make her happiness my responsibility anymore. I can’t be her punching bag anymore. It’s time for me to let go.
If you are a wounded child and need to let go of a emotional abusive parent, I hope this blog helps you. I hope it shows you that you’re not alone. I hope that it shows you that you can do it. That you are worth more than that. That your happiness is more important than theirs. It’s ok to move away to heal. It’s ok to set healthy boundaries with them. And if they don’t like it, then you know that the relationship needs to end for good.
Thank you for listening.